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The Three Areas of Relationship Updates


Update 08/02/2011

     Dredging up the past and trying to make sense of it is usually a waste of time and destructive to the motivation and sense of purpose in life.  As introspective as I get, I have to deal with it and resolve it. Until that is done and normalcy is restored, I can be frustrated, bitter and fatalistic. None of those things are functional.  I don’t like that “dead in the water” feeling,  as though I were just taking up space until the undertaker shows up. The only rational, common sense thing to do is apply the principles of “The Three Areas of Relationship” to sort it all out, drive a stake in the heart of the past, and keep it buried for good. I know that I’ll sleep better at night.

   It is very important for anyone’s emotional well-being that they give up on trying to undo the past. No experience involves just one individual. I should take my own advice to heart. Let it go. Admit that it’s gone. It didn’t work and it’s broken. It’s been and gone, dead and went. Forget it.

    What brought this update to the surface was a feeling that I couldn’t shake for more than a week.  It was the feeling that there was nothing left for me to do in life. The only significant event in my life that I could see was my funeral. I felt that I had written everything there was for me to write. People around the world have told me that I changed their lives. Some of them go back to the same old things they did before they met me.  Apparently, they didn’t pay any attention to what I wrote, past the moment. For me, that is a demoralizing and depressing outcome. I have better things to do.

     This brings me to the downhill slide that is my personal introspective.  I don’t stay caged up in frustration for very long. At some point, the body text of the answer will coalesce and write itself. It’s taken a week, but the moment that was just out of my sight is here.  I’ll be as interested to read this as anyone else. I may learn something.

The first misstep in my thinking was that all the things that were supposed to be good in my life, never were. Everything got lost or destroyed, personal relationships flamed out and died. Having an ingrained aversion to the disappointment of the “crash and burn”, I haven’t allowed the opportunity or the vulnerability to even think about relationships. At best, I can only know the things that I don’t want. With that background, I’ll examine what happens, and why.

     My background in this goes back to 1982. I al;most froze to death on a bitterly cold winter night in upstate NY. Ever since then, there has been a moment of panic, every time I wake up. A million thoughts race through my mind. In that instant, I feel threatened. The questions pile up, tripping over each other. Why am I still alive? Why didn’t I just die in my sleep? What am I supposed to do? I dread having to face another day. If I couldn’t resolve this conflict in the past, I wouldn’t have lived through the intervening time between that night and the present day.  Fortunately, “The Three Areas of Relationship” dismantles this emotional garbage disposal and lays the parts out for inspection. Now, I can judge the situation from a detached and practical viewpoint.

     I observe that my personal relationships were doomed to failure because they became ensnared in a commercial context. When the business of a relationship fails, the personal connection dies. For almost a decade now, I avoid starting a business with a woman like I would avoid Bubonic Plague. In the world of Commerce, every encounter and experience is combat. A legal trust can be “killed”, without anyone standing trial for murder. In the commercial context of the United States vision of society, the commercial construct of an individual is raped and pillaged as standard procedure. There is nothing personal about it. It’s only business. 

.     How do we keep the Personal and Commercial areas separate? The simple answer is “Render unto Caesar,  the things that are Caesar’s”. It’s harder than it looks. It demands more resolve and commitment.  The intensity level has to be higher than most people have the stomach for. Commerce is war.  Battlefield diplomats end up captured or killed. We can start this process, but can we finish it? Ram Caesar’s fraud and corruption up Caesar’s nose, and pound it home with a sledgehammer. Just keep up the fight until there is nothing that Caesar can lay a proprietary claim on. That’s what it takes to win. I understand that, for me to be the living, flesh and blood human being that God created me to be, that parasitic commercial identity must “die”.  The price of losing is loss of Integrity. Of course, most people don’t feel the loss of their Integrity. They weren’t using  it, anyway. It is when commercial conditions turn against people that they lament the error of their ways. That’s when people  are faced with the consequences of trading thei4r birthright for a bowl of lentil soup.

Real Issues

For all the confusion and turmoil in the world, it still comes down to the most basic issue: living and dying. The important point here is that we are all required to do those things together. In that context, politics and economics become insignificant. They are artificial and contrived. Every work of the hand of man is dust and will blow away as such. If all we see in each other are the things we can do and build, we have missed the purpose of life. We are all living beings, created in the image of G-d. That makes each and every one of us, somebody.
The Two Most Dangerous Phrases
The two most dangerous phrases in human experience are: “If you want……” and followed by, “Well, if you expect……….”. In them are found the roots of every conflict in history. In them are found the chasm between a promise and satisfaction, expectation and disappointment, hope and despair. The frailty of human nature is inescapable and unavoidable. We cannot hide from ourselves. As long as relationships are burdened by the cares of this world, there will be trouble. There is a better way.
The Three Areas of Relationship, Introduction
In this introduction, it is critically important to understand that I see concepts in three dimensions and illustrate in extreme analogies. It must be understood that getting sidetracked in details of analogy misses the point. The analogy is not the subject, but illustrates something about the subject. As you read the next three parts of this series, picture a circle divided into three equal parts. Then, while reading, build a cone on that circle. Keep it divided with the colors red, blue, and yellow. The three areas of relationship are simply, Personal, Business, and Social. Keep the visual concepts in mind as you read over the next few days.
I continue with the description of the three areas. Keep in mind the circle divided into thirds and color coded. In the Personal area, it must be kept in mind that serious issues escalate when the boundaries are violated. In the extreme analogy, we find horror stories of people selling their children for drinking money, while their mothers are homeless in the street. I know that’s extreme, but things like that happen when people get their personal priorities upside down.
Now, we come to the Business area. This is where failure to maintain separation has produced wars, riots, economic collapses, and famines. All for the sake of commerce, people have been sacrificed because someone took what they wanted and eliminated people to do it. Then, they call it good business. Corrupt relationships result from compromising the boundaries of the areas of relationship.
Now, we come to the Social area, by far the most confusing area. In this area, we are subjected to the confusion and commotion of the crowd. The temptation to enter into compromised personal and political alliances are a constant pressure. It is in this area that all of the negative emotions boil under the surface. Maintaining separation in relationships is mandatory if conflict, retaliation and escalation are to be avoided. Remember, the object of life is to get to the top of the cone and stay there. What no one realizes is that requires a recognition of every individual as a living being, created by God, each deserving of that respect and recognition.
The Three Areas of Relationship, Personal Boundaries
In the Personal area, failure to maintain separation produces the horror stories the tabloids thrive on. When economic and social pressure intrudes into the Personal area, marriages fail and children are sold at auction by the adoption industry. A good example is the way the legal connection of the people to the land was severed. Countries are defined as land with people on it. There are no more countries, only corporations. Everyone is presumed to be property of the corporate structure, and managed to the maximum benefit of the corporation. The consolidation of that form of intrusion into the personal status of living beings was all done by contract and is very well documented, all over the world. People have traded their land, wealth and individuality for worthless paper.
I left off in the last entry, having mentioned invalid contracts. Every contract is an agreement, but is it valid? What are the requirements of a valid contract? The requirements are longstanding and well established conditions. They are Equity, Informed Consent, and Free Will. Any defect invalidates the contract. If the exchange in the transaction is not of similar values, the contract is in fraud from the beginning. Warrantees are in this category. To omit or misrepresent relevant information is denial of Informed Consent. Politics is the area where this is most well known. Agreements made under threat of loss or punishment are denial of Free Will. This we see in real estate transactions. The important point is that failure to stay within the boundaries of validity is a fatal error in Personal relationships.
The Three Areas of Relationship, Business Ethics
Where to begin? There are as many definitions of business as there are people. The expression, in all of it’s forms, that business would be perfect if it weren’t for commerce, is true. Unfortunately, they are inseparable. The mechanism of business is commerce. Commerce is amoral, heartless and cruel. It is equity and intrinsic value exchanged for agreed compensation. At no point is honor and integrity considered. Commerce is ugly business. This is the reason that absolute separation of this area is vital. Any intrusions by personal or social issues produces corruption. The potential for destruction is too great in this area. Humanity is capable of self destruction without weapons. In the next segment, the intrusions of corrupting influences into this area will be discussed.
In any discussion of intrusive corrupting influences in the Business area of relationships, it nust be understood that commerce has always been used as a weapon. Commercial entities come into being and immediately employ private armies to subdue and subjugate peoples, nations and continents. It has always been so. The most telling statement on the subject is a famous quote from Thomas Jefferson: “If private banks are allowed to control the issuance of currency, they and the corporations that shall spring up around them, shall deprive the people of all liberty and property. The people shall find themselves homeless on the land their fathers settled.” I wonder if Jefferson, personally, and the rest of the Founding Fathers understood that private banks would spring up around the corporation formed by the States. Whichever came first, the chicken or the egg, is irrelevant. You still get more chickens and more eggs. At least 200 million people were exterminated in the last century through commerce. That could not have happened without the corporate commercial organization of the world.
By giving our consent and willing participation to the policies of the corporate structure of the world, we are paying for our own destruction. We are now so dehumanized that we can watch the powerless die and rationalize it as being done for the common good. We have sunk so low as to call it good. Our consciences are so burned and numbed that we no longer recognize the sovereinty of the individual. This is the place that intrusions into the Business area of relationships has brought us. We hold the cloak of corporate fascism and free it’s hands to enslave and kill. How long will we continue in this and who will we betray to maintain our position in the corporate structure?
What is the desired objective in the Business area of relationship? The lesson of history is that societies that adhere to a system of just weights and measures, prosper. At various times, societies have made attempts at such a balance, only to be thwarted. Balance, honesty and transparency in business stand in the way of acquisition and centralization of wealth. Parity is a hindrance to the consolidation of power. Why would anyone stand in the way of equity between and among people? The answer is simple. The plans for the world do not include everyone. I suggest that a look at the Georgia Guidestones on http://www.radioliberty.com would be very enlightening. The message on that monument calls for reducing the world population to 500 million people. That means that 5.5 billion people are marked for elimination. Be forewarned.
The Three Areas of Relationship, Social Graces
The Social area of relationship may be the most confusing because it involves the unknowns of interaction of multiple priorities. When snap decisions and hard answers are sought in what is supposed to be a relaxed environment, pandemonium rules. It always seems that people are required to be too polite to be honest in a social setting. It would seem that conflicts arising from improper alliances and deceitful purposes in the Social area would be basically harmless. Nothing could be further from the truth. The deepest depths of darkness in human nature finds escape from the restraint of conscience, here.
The Social area of relationship is the most fragile area. All things done in this area are accelerated and spread like wildfire. Remember that there are no countries, only corporations. People all over the world are herded and harvested as livestock. Centralized political and economic entities have always sent corporations to subdue and subjugate land, people and resources. It’s all the same to them. The issue is the transfer of wealth and control. It has always been so. The history of the dark side of human nature, and the evil forces that make war against humanity all over the world, prompted this quote:
“Government, being a magnifier of human nature, is in it’s best state, a sleeping murderer.”
Guard yourselves against centralized wealth, power and control.
The Three Areas of Relationship, Conclusion
In conclusion, the protective and nurturing aspects of separation must be contrasted with the pitfalls and calamity of compromise. Does anyone keep this in proper perspective? Not indefinitely, and certainly not myself. The world doesn’t let any good deed go unpunished for very long. Being on fair, equitable and honorable terms with all people is a very difficult state to maintain. The requirement is that a price higher than myself must be paid. That price could only be paid by a perfect, undefiled Redeemer, G-d Who became flesh and dwelt among us, maintaining His Integrity, laying down His life in my place, taking my just punishment upon Himself. He rose from the dead and walked out of the tomb, having eternal life in Himself, that He could reconcile all people to Himself. Ask Him about it. He tells it so much better than I do.
The most common intrusion and most destructive process in human experience is that of incursion by Business and Personal issues into the Social area. People understood this perfectly, during the Viet Nam Era. Apparently, people don’t understand that, today. People understood that commerce and it’s companion, taxation, were weapons used to destroy nations, people and cultures. At the root of this is the definition of “family”. Obviously, there are quite different meanings in play. In G-d’s worldview, it is very simple. The thoughts and intents of the heart are known, there is nothing hidden that shall not be revealed. Needs are known before we ask and met according to the perfect schedule, the Will of G-d. Justice is assured by the Righteous Judge. Simple. The corporate world view is quite different. The family is a unit of property, managed by the inventory control institutions. After filling out paperwork and wading through a minefield of bureaucrats, maybe someone’s needs might be met. Consult your case worker. Your abuse may vary.
Earlier, I said that the most destructive events occur by intrusion of the Personal and Business areas into the Social area. Such intrusion has produced nothing less than turning everything in America upside down and inside out. In 1867, as stated in the Preamble to the Congressional Record, Congress changed the stated purpose of the just concluded war from “preservation of the Union” to “conquest”. By edict, the States status as soveriegn nations in confederation was abolished. They were readmitted to the union with the de facto status of occupied territories. The official title for what is now known as the Zip Code is “Federal Occupation Zone”. The best quote on this event and it’s consequences came from John Jennings: “The problem is that we have fake people, living in a fake country, subject to fake laws, and using fake money.”. This is what happens when proper separation of areas of relationship is not maintained. People trade reality for illusion.
Intrusion of Personal and Social issues into the Business area are very difficult to define and identify, resulting in deception and great material loss. Otherwise, why would anyone have gotten involved with Enron? It is in the Social environment that “friends” don’t let friends drive drunk, but they do give each other bad financial advice. Such exchanges may stroke egos and reinforce comfort zones, but such activity is a recipe for certain disaster. When people who insist on believing a lie assemble in a Social environment to enjoy the false security of strength in numbers, the resulting collapse leads people searching for a false messiah to teach them how to benefit from corruption. Never in the history of the world has there been such an intense focus in staying on the right side of wrong.
When Personal and Business issues intrude into the Social area, the process is slightly different. This is the domain of demagogues and corporate predators. People are herded through the harvesting process, here. While mass marketing and media promotion create an environment for the next great social movement, people are distracted into a process of consumption from cradle to grave, concluding life saddled with personal and collective debt that is impossible to repay. It is in this scenario that deficit spending and groundless speculation are presented as good things. The priorities in this area become exactly backwards. The great social lies find root here. People express their belief in the social lies in many ways. We have all been ingrained with the concepts that we must select “the least of the evils” and that this is the way it is and we are stuck with it “until something better comes along”. The legal term for this is “Corruption of the blood”. Historical evidence clearly shows that this is the formula for the destruction of an economy and a society.
This should be easy to understand. When Business and Social issues intrude into the Personal area, it is very obvious. This is where the world comes at the individual. Can’t avoid it, run from it or hide from it. Can you be forced to accept a Radio Frequency Identification Chip in your body? What if during a crisis, the food shelves are empty? What happens in a disease outbreak? Why did the Centers for Disease Control seal the vaccination records of autistic children? Could it be poisoning from the mercury in the vaccines? Could you be injured by people you are required to obey, and later see it covered with a lie? These are all serious invasions of individual Personal space. The obvious statement is that now we know why human nature must be restrained. Betrayed trust can never be trust, again.
The functional purpose of this series is to expose ulterior motives, detect fraud, and point to the right choices. More importantly, to recognize the circumstances in which we are allowed no real choice. If we have the standards of measurement that decide these questions, life is a lot less trouble. If you run into a snag, read everything the Bible has to say about human nature. It will weed out the bad guys.
What are your values? Values are the on/off switches that decide our actions. Do we get up and do something? Do we sit still with a blank expression and do nothing? Do we spend the last money on food, or rent or fuel? All of these questions and many more are decided by values. Everyone has values. We hear about “Family Values” all the time. The natural order of these values are very clearly established in every culture. The issues of right and wrong, reward and punishment, and concepts of authority within a culture are taught and understood, one generation to the next. In the corporate structure, values are set on unnatural priorities. The most basic issues are on completely different ground. Living beings are fodder for exploitation, expendable in the interests of competing power bases within the corporate structure. The millions of people who have lost their lives to the end of material gain and agenda serving social interests are grim witnesses against the institutions of Man. As we sit here and watch the world move toward consolidation and absorption into a common corporate entity, what do our values say? Are we to surrender to forces that claim the power of life and death over living beings?


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